:thoughts of a new day:

"i will be here for as long as it takes"

can you imagine the thoughts that were going through my head when this one thought came blasting through my head. what did i mean? why was i thinking it? was it just a response to Ps Ben Wong's talk? was it the spur of the moment of a packed house, great speaker and great atmosphere getting to my head? would i really be here in 180 forever?

My tenure as the 180 leader begins August 1st, but Bob has unofficially ended a while ago, which was planned so that He could concentrate of the Vine centre.. but it's still weird... i mean.. i think that in the last month that i've basically been leading, i've made tons of mistakes.. i've made wrong calls, and I’ve forgotten so many things.. if i was critiquing myself on my first month, i probably would pull me aside and say.. "hey buddy, get it together"

but there's Grace.

not to screw up, there's Grace for me to continue to lead, and then to also lead better because of those mistakes.

how you like them apples?

what's really funny was that years ago, when Jym Kay was our leader and Bob, Jason and myself were all part of the leadership team. i was like.. man.. if I was leader, things would be SO DIFFERENT... i would so, i can't believe jym does this... blah blah blah blah, yadda ya yayaya

now i realise that it's ridiculously hard to lead a ministry. there are so many things to remember, to do, to say, to act, to think.. it's so funny.. sometimes i look at what's happening and then i realise that wow.. i'm the leader. i know without a doubt that if it wasn't for my leadership team's support, blessings and patience with me.. i would never have even made it through the first month.

BUT, last night solidified that THIS is what my whole has lead to. my upbringing, my downward spiral at uni, and now my salvation and new life.. it was all to be where i am now. how can i move on, how can i become another leader elsewhere? ben wong said last night.. do you know what your calling is? yes. mine is to lead 180. this is not a stepping stone. this is the final destination.

strange to know this. i was sitting on the floor of a bar/club/live band venue turned church that i got for 180... watching a guest speaker i personally brought in... thinking.. this is where i know i am supposed to be. the friends, the acquaintances, the college students, the Plus group leaders, the unsaved, the barely saved, the irresponsibly saved.. the lost, the hurt.. the broken.. all under one roof... and that's where i am supposed to be. young adults? it’s not my passion. it’s my life.

this is turning into a monster post.

there is one lasting thought that i want to share with anyone that is reading this post, or chance around my site.

together, we will build 180 into the God called ministry that it is destined to be, or we will die trying. i don't care how much it takes, how many tears, how many pints of blood.. but together we will make 180 into what God has called it to be and we will settle for nothing less. i have yet add my full potential, but no one is....... yet. i will someday, and so will everyone else... otherwise why am i here?

I promise not to wait so long before my next post. i'm outtie.


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