:life worth living:

i had a chance to reflect on the life that god has given me. my life sometimes runs at 180 mph and i don’t have the spare millisecond to notice that the roses are even there, let alone smell their sweet aroma.

and then there are days like today, where god has to stop the whole world around me, just so i can be still. haha.. circumstance? try the vine centre... that's a scenario and a half.

tonight, the lord spoke to me. it was an amazing number of words that the Lord has been waiting to share with me. i have been given fuel to my fire, and yet i have been given hard words as well. the words of humility. the words of limiting God with my thoughts... wow.. harsh.. but so ridiculously true.

tonight, the lord reminded me that life is worth living. now.. i'm not suicidal, it's just that god said i was special. that to me is such a simple word, but something so needed in my life. every single human being needs to know that they are loved, that they are someone special. that's why we go to familiar places, because that's where people know us, where we have social standing.

like cheers. they all simply know your name.

god knows my name. but sometimes that's not enough for me. well today, god reminded me that he not only knows my name, but he knows my innermost needs... needs i didn't even know i had. like needed to be told i'm special.

sometimes, life on the stage is empty. i spent 99.9% thinking/worrying/praying/fretting over what goes on in a single 180... if not speaking, i'm mcing, if not mcing, it's the worship team.. and i LOVE it, but sometimes, god needs to stop everything just so he can whisper something special to me.

i never want to hinder what the lord is doing in me and in those around. in fact, i beg for that exact thing to happen every day. for the lord to DO something in me. he is.. and my what an amazing future to look forwards to.

and here i come to actual reason for updating. 1) i'm juiced on caffeine. 2) no matter what i do or say, i am wonderfully addicted to blogger.

what if.. WHAT IF the lord has a calling on our lives and we're not walking in that calling? would it be worse to know that? or would it be worse to have never known the call. i choose the second. i would rather have known and failed trying, then to live and never have known. what if tonight was the night that the very beginning of 180 began? that my friends, would be simply amazing.

today, begins the first day of our inheritance.

thanks to anyone who still reads this site. i'm still here.. are you?


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