:turned 180:

someone recently asked me what most loved about oneighty.

i couldn't readily answer him because i've never made a top 5 list... in fact, i NEVER make top 5 lists of anything. maybe it's fear of putting things in little boxes and say 'this is what i think', or maybe it's because i'm decidely fickle with things like top 5 lists.

high fidelity has just made me reconsider.

regardless of order, or what the other 4 were, one of my top 5 things was something that i cherish as a leader in this ministry.

Transformed lives. doing a 180. changing. for God.

well, i dont say it's because of 180 did i become the christian i have become. it was due to the love of Jesus, the Vine, but my friends and closest relationships as a christian, and my marriage, have all really come out of this ministry. my own personal change was due to finding a cause to live for, the cause of Jesus Christ, yet this was translated every week in the fellowship/outreach of 180. one eighty. one_eighty. oneighty. let's take a break and look at my next failure to trim down

well.. that's all fine and dandy, but was it just me? not at all. recently, i've been praying with someone who is kicking a serious weed addiction, the type that causes your life to surround around smoking "The Pot". i've been there, only with E... i've recently prayed with another person who has had a life of relationship angst, only to find release in Christ, never knowning that Jesus had such power or love to care about his problems... and then there's another person with professional burnout, almost wanting to turn on the industy, yet after time in oneighty, she's decided that God has ordained her to be the lone missionary and go for it. these are all transformed lives and it's individual stories like this that make what i do worthwhile.

but what about lives that aren't changed? what about people who've been coming to oneighty and the vine for months, for years, and never change?

i was thinking about this as i typed the first half of this post and i have answer. it's not that i shun these people, or look down on them because change is subjective. change must happen from the inside out and when it does, who's to say that anything has happened? of course over time you can always tell by the fruit, but WHILE the change is happening nothing can done or gauged.

i am leading a ministry where if i have a microphone or not i want to inspire a God-directed change. a self-inflicted desire to strip away things that they KNOW God does not want of them, and then to take on the life of Jesus as their own. at the same time, i must be undergoing the change as well, otherwise it's all just a bunch of fluff.

anyways, there is no conclusion, dare i say there's not even a point to this post, but i have to admit to all that sometimes there is no conclusion to ministry. there is a point, but sometimes that 'point' is far off in the clouds. that's sometimes where i am, not in the clouds, but stuck in this inbetween... i am changing, we are changing, yet we are not fully changed, yet we are not the same person we were? that's confusing.

speaking of changed lives... just wanted to end with some pictures of the Ephraim and Brooke wedding... it was fun to say the least.


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