:the perfect storm:

i have never been so tired from running events before in my life.

2 weeks ago, 5 am i was a awake to get ready to go to Cebu for our 180 mission. great great great time, but it was a challenge for me as i lead my first team. we got back on monday, and i returned to our churches youth group reluanch on friday, my young adults group relaunch on saturday, church service on sunday, and 2 opening services on sunday afternoon. in 3 days, we 5 different services.

nothing special.

i'm not going into details, in fact, i'm not even going to tell what happened. i'm just going to share what i've been thinking over the last 2 weeks. there's been a number of things that i've been thinking about... mainly about my growth, as a person, leader, musician, friend, boyfriend.. everything.

i'm in constant love of life. as far as i see it, you can choose how you respond to situation, rather than try to change situations. even in deeper thought, your choice in how you respond to situations can actually have effect on the situation.. no? to many people get caught up in situations, or try to change situations, which makes them more subject to their surroundings.. me? do what you can and then go with it... at least.. that's what i'm growing towards... anyways, i'm off track.

after a full day of relaxing, sitting on my butt... chilling, surfing, vegging, cooking... i'm ok. not completely rested, but partially. the weekend made me understand a couple of things about myself.

1) i get stressed a lot.
2) i love God, my church, my church family, and everything that i do for the lord
3) i need to exercise more

this is not the deep thoughtful post that i was hoping it would turn out to be, but at least it's insightful. the stress comes from feeling like i need to know exactly what to do in every situation. some times, i really know what God wants, sometimes i really know what I want, and sometimes i have no clue whatsoever anyone wants. those are the times where stress rises. i've found that the biggest thing a leader must get used to doing is making decision.

anyways, as i take this day, and now early night to reflect on decisions.. i must smile. i can't change yesterday, but i can change tomorrow, but acting today. so today, i will choose peace, calm, love, and joy.. because, well.. something i realised this weekend was that my emotions are largely up to how i decide to let them.. they dont control themselves.

it's a wonderful thing... emotions... but as i grow, and learn, and fail, and succeed, i learn that emotions want to be controlled, sometimes we just let them run too wild. not me.. i'm pretty control.. but like i said.. i'm learning.

another day, another meeting. off i go. so much for my day off.....


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