why am i so afraid of cockroaches?

even now i look at the word and i hate it.. i shudder. yuck.

about 1 minute i saw a big roach scuttle across my floor... it's weird because i've never seen a big cockroach in my house before. you see, cliff and i rarely eat at home, not are we really messy with our food, so we're actually rather sparse when it comes to food lying around for roaches to come.

that's why i was so surprised.

i mean what the heck? walking around like it owned the place. i didn't like it's attitude, running and pausing...so i smashed it's brains in. i literally exploded the bottom half of it's body with one of cliffs shoes...

janice things roaches are from the devil. today, i agree.

you know, i some times wonder about myself. do you? do you ever think about who you REALLY are? i mean, the you that no one sees, that no one will ever even know about? as i continue to pray about sharing the rest of my life with someone, i really understand that i sometimes hate that person. i sometimes dread myself... i dunno, sometimes the glass is half full, sometimes it's so empty that i just want to break the damn glass in two and ram it down your throat so that you choke to death on your own blood, but yes thankyouverymuch that its' half empty...

ho hum. i blame the roach on bringing the worst out of me.

back to emails, to life, to death, to roaches, and sleep....


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