:fear of fatherhood...:

so over the last 24 hours i saw two children of a man who is very "on fire" for the Lord. The type of "on fire" that used to make me cringe and be a little ashamed of being Christian. I know that you know what i'm talking about, so i wont go into detail. the thing that kind of made me feel a little uneasy was that he, and his wife are really lovers of Jesus... like he started a home church, and is the type of person that everyone in the city knows. "oh yeah, that's so-and-so, great heart for the Lord!"

but lets talk about their kids. i think that there are only 3 of them, but all three have gone off the rails and are completely, absolutely, not wanting anything to do with Jesus Christ. it's not like they're very chill, and atheist... they have literally gone off the rails and are struggling with different types of addictions that are arguably destroying their lives.

yes i'm judging them, but i'm honestly only observing from a pastoral standpoint.. that in this family, the parents love the Lord and the kids hate the Lord.

as Janice and i prepare for parenthood, there are a few things that we really fear. oftentimes, we play an unhealthy game of "what if..." and honestly, that game, if there's no line drawn, can digress to pinpoint deep fears that we have as followers of Christ and as human beings.

As a husband, i know the scriptures in the bible that talks of being a spiritual head of the house and holding responsibility for my wife. for the record, janice doesn't need me to spiritually hold her hand and move her forwards with the Lord, so that's been great. I mean, we can obviously be closer to the Lord, but we still encourage each other in the Lord. HOWEVER, janice is a grown woman and for as i long as i've known her she's been in a relationship with the Lord.

in a few months, our son will be relying on us and us alone to see God.

as a pastor, i get a glimpse of this. it's kind of the same thing... i seek Christ out and as i hear His leading in my life, i share what i hear with my young adults. in some very small ways i am responsible for the spiritual growth of some young adults. it's not entirely up to me, because they are grown and mature people... they can find Jesus on their own. "follow my example as i follow Christ..." is something i live to, but i know for a fact that there is grace because they are supposed to test every word from my mouth.

but it's different with a child... my OWN child.

this child will completely rely on janice and I this child lives with us. he will see all our faults, all the things we don't do, or don't live up to. i can't hide behind a pulpit. i can't run away from everyone in the church and hide on my day off... our Son will be searching for God and the first point of contact will be Janice and I....

i was given a piece of advice from a friend, and she said this... "If i could change one thing on how i raised my kids, it would be teach them as soon as possible to fear the Lord. That impacts everything."

Having a fear for the Lord will impact everything.

this has really stuck with me... and in the few months before our son pops out and draws his first breath... Janice and i gearing up in prayer to not only raise a child, but raise a follower of Christ. We have decided already that no matter how hard it will be, we'll do what we can and love our son as Jesus loves us.... unconditional is the word. i expect that i am only just beginning to understand what this word actually means...

so as the weeks continue to unravel, and my wife's bump grows into more of a watermelon... i am faced with a plethora of feelings... some good, some not so good. every day it's elation and fear all wrapped into one...

but really, all i can think is...

i can't bloody wait! woohoooo!!!!!


Popular Posts