as i listen to the soundtrack of my life right now... the memories flood. hillsong music australia.... hmmm.

Hillsong Conference(Sydney, Australia) July 8-12 2002
there was an afternoon that i was walking from one session to the main auditorium after spending most of the day alone... left alone to the devices of the Lord working on my heart.. convicting me hour after hour... literally going from one thing to the next. i remembered exactly what happened. the beautiful Australian sun was setting so a very perfectly timed chill was coming over me. i remembered what i thought...

"is this the life that god called me to? is this it? why have i been so selfish? God, please hear me and help me to live for you..."

i never turned back from that day. it was simple, yet significant. i learned that the answers to my questions all came down to the simple formula of, the more i wanted from God, the more i wanted to be with Him, i actually had to give more of myself, my heart... to Him.

that was last year.

Hillsong Conference(Sydney, Australia) July 7-11 2003
just last month i was walking the same exact path, almost the same exact day, same time and same everything... yet my thinking was different... my focus had changed...

"wow, what are you going to do with those around me Lord? how can i do more for this church Lord? how can i do more for Hong Kong? how much more do you want of me to serve those around me Lord?

the difference to me was as plain as circle or square. the first year i was challenged to change inwardly, to wake up, to get out of my funk and self-condemnation... and rise up and claim the land that was rightfully mine. this time, i realised that the Lord is moving, and i wanted to know my role to help His kingdom be more... i kept seeking where i could less, so He could be more. before i could barely be considered a man in His army, but last month i felt that i was a general waiting for the battle plan.

my challenge from God was this. Am i willing to catch His calling for my life, to live by and through and BECAUSE of faith? i am set apart, i am different, and to me that just means i must serve all those around me before i will be entrusted with anything from on high. not squash myself so others are higher than me, but to raise them up above me and to let all others come before me.

and so the clock ticks. i'm eager to see what this next year will bring, what the Lord will be doing in, through, around and with me. the bench mark is higher than i think, and the sky is the limit. here i wait for the battle to start, not yet realizing that the war has been raging for centuries.

there is a saying that i'm living towards now, "If you want to be King, you must scrub the floor first."


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