:the mirror:
sometimes, like tonight, i look into my reflection and i can't stand the person i see. the hypocrite... the person who says, prays, acts so holy, yet is so broken and so... nothing on the inside. often, when i get like, i'm so ashamed to call myself a follower... because how is it that i can follow? i don't even hold true to the things i say...
leader? i don’t think so.
many times people pretend, they spend their whole lives putting up a front, a make believe barrier that serves as a force field to protect that which is within... and in my inner chamber are so many dirty rooms, so many things that no one is allowed to see. i certainly am within that boundry... it is there that i too often dwell, ignoring the still small voice... heeding to schemes beyond my control...
we all have these chambers, these rooms, these secret areas... but only some people are willing to fight head on. only some are willing to even acknowledge that it's there.
me? i am willing.. now...
for far too long, i've struggled. but sin is a constant, temptation is real. i vowed that if not today, then never, and since never is not an option.. it is today that i choose.
as i check my calendar.. it is less than 2 months before i take over 180. it's far too soon, yet it feels like years away... i guess that my own heart is neither here nor there.. yet i'm trying.. i'm a new creation.. it's time i start living like one. i'm annointed.. i knew it.. but my heart sometimes crushes under the preasure i put on myself
this website will be where i share my dreams, my falls, my thoughts, my days.... this weblog has seen me travel from non-believer to saved... from member to leader.. and now this... hired by my church to lead 180... i am a reluctant leader because i know my very real and apparent limitations.. but the Lord isn't into what i can't do.. He's into what i let Him do.. and as far as i can see an tell, i'll let Him do all and be all.
my triumphant return to the blog-o-sphere. it's been a while, but the sun still shines, the heavens still cry... and there's so much to be done...
humbly i seek His will in my life, while holding on to a promise of a clean mind and a pure heart.. words that forever will baffle me with its ever simplistic impossibility.
sometimes, like tonight, i look into my reflection and i can't stand the person i see. the hypocrite... the person who says, prays, acts so holy, yet is so broken and so... nothing on the inside. often, when i get like, i'm so ashamed to call myself a follower... because how is it that i can follow? i don't even hold true to the things i say...
leader? i don’t think so.
many times people pretend, they spend their whole lives putting up a front, a make believe barrier that serves as a force field to protect that which is within... and in my inner chamber are so many dirty rooms, so many things that no one is allowed to see. i certainly am within that boundry... it is there that i too often dwell, ignoring the still small voice... heeding to schemes beyond my control...
we all have these chambers, these rooms, these secret areas... but only some people are willing to fight head on. only some are willing to even acknowledge that it's there.
me? i am willing.. now...
for far too long, i've struggled. but sin is a constant, temptation is real. i vowed that if not today, then never, and since never is not an option.. it is today that i choose.
as i check my calendar.. it is less than 2 months before i take over 180. it's far too soon, yet it feels like years away... i guess that my own heart is neither here nor there.. yet i'm trying.. i'm a new creation.. it's time i start living like one. i'm annointed.. i knew it.. but my heart sometimes crushes under the preasure i put on myself
this website will be where i share my dreams, my falls, my thoughts, my days.... this weblog has seen me travel from non-believer to saved... from member to leader.. and now this... hired by my church to lead 180... i am a reluctant leader because i know my very real and apparent limitations.. but the Lord isn't into what i can't do.. He's into what i let Him do.. and as far as i can see an tell, i'll let Him do all and be all.
my triumphant return to the blog-o-sphere. it's been a while, but the sun still shines, the heavens still cry... and there's so much to be done...
humbly i seek His will in my life, while holding on to a promise of a clean mind and a pure heart.. words that forever will baffle me with its ever simplistic impossibility.
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