:seeds of life:

you never know what your effect is in someone's life. i mean... seriously... all the things you could ever do for someone, all the time spent, the prayer said... you never see the effect or the fruit fully.

but you know it's there.

i often look at what i do, as in my weekly schedule, and i had a think about it just now. for a volunteer, i meet with a lot of people. some for a meal, some for coffee, some just in the prayer room... but i guess some people are freaked out to meet with "the future 180 leader", some are just freaked out that it's derek, some are curious at what i have to say.. some just sit and nod their heads while i up-chuck vision and deep thoughts all over them. some i've challenged right down to their very soul, some i'm encouraged, and all have responded. some people have thanked me and showed me with their lives that they are going to pray and ask God for more direction and for strength to persue His will in their lives.

some have said, thank you very much, but i will not be part of your fellowship anymore. that's cool. thanks for your honesty.

some days i meet with people, share and pray with them, yet i can't and will not see to what ends am i going. it seems like every day i'm asking god to keep my passion burning because i can not expect to receive that inspiration for other people.. i must find it within.

but what if all the work i'm putting DOES catch on? what if everyone shared my heart, my passion my vision and my desire to see God's will in His people and in 180 specifically? it's an amazing thought... like what Moses prayed.. Lord, if only you could put on my people what you have put on me..."

that is my job at 180. not to lead, but to guide. i have been along many different paths in my Christian walk, and that's why i feel i have been able to guide anyone who is willing to follow. my greatest desire is to see people praying together 1-on-1, and seeing God's truth placed smack dab right in the middle. i long to see the day where everyone in 180 is in a bible study, where people are coming and KNOWING they have an outlet for prayer.. i long to see the day where everyone in 180 has onwership of 180 and not just in name or title... i long to see 180 run itself, and will composed of people who were transformed vessels by the power of the Holy Spirit, and encouraged through the fellowship of 180...i long for a Christian group to have such cutting edge music, media, advertiding and social presence that it CAN NOT BE IGNORED.

i desire nothing more than for people in the 20's age group to stand up for what they believe in, and to not comprimise that for anything.

some days i think that my passion is buring to fast too song... some days i thinks it's that very passion that God has placed in me which was His deciding factor in why i where i am now. somedays i think i'm going over the top meeting with as many people in 180 as i can... somedays i think that it is due to my overwhelming desire to shepard people in 180 that God saw me desireable for this leadership. somedays i feel like the leadership team, and the core of 180 is best group of people i could every hope or pray for... and somedays i feel like we need more than just them.

anyways.. this post has been sitting on my desktop for hours.. here it goes.. mandy says no one read's this long.. did you? let me know....


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