so i get back from an awesome christian conference.. get super charged to go back in to my ministries... want ot be plugged in to my church more than ever... and then i have dinner with my family.

there's NOTHING like satan working through my family to get at the christian. i'm not ashamed to admit that satan uses my family members. anyone who disagrees is either in denial or just blind. it started with talking abou thte conference.. then it went ot money... then they blasted me about wasting money and not saving for taxes.. then they all got on my case for tithing.. then they got angry cuz i was late on some of my payments....

after a while i just shutup and i prayed for peace... and that i wouldn't get up and storm home. i can't believe how hard it is to just sit and enjoy a meal with the people whom have known me for my whole life... the people i'm supposed to run to when things get hard, the people whom supposedly love me unconditionally. i'm not shunning them.. nor am i'm retracting my love for them... but i AM SAYING that my happiness, my joy, my strength, my fuel.. my substance.. comes for the Lord Jesus my savior... not my friends, not my job, and not even my family. i love them, but the love we share is nothing compared to love that Jesus will offer them... someday...

until that day i will endure their comments, arguments, apathy, snide remarks, laughing, stubourness, difficulty, ignorance, and whatever else is needed until the day that the Lord comes into their lives. I don't care if it's on their death bed or tomorrow night... on a eternal scale the difference is not much... and i have enough faith to let God work and not rely on my ramming the Gospel down their throats, or argueing the cross into their lives.

anyways... i'm going to pray for my fams.. they are one lost set of people. very very lost. God... please help them. they need it.. but they are of the worst kind..they all dont think that they need you.. they've seen it all... they just think it's not them... i pray god that you one day destroy that wall in their hearts... and become more real than the fake set of relationships and weekly dinners we call family. amen.


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