:and so it is so:

it's been many weeks since i've come here... it's bene a crazy time for christmas and new years.. but all that is behind me.. this new year is in full swing. i've had alot of time to think my new job, my new everything through.. and i guess it' stime to share. because sharing is caring.

in the 3 months i've been working for the church.. i think i've been up and down. sometimes, i allow the enemy to lie to me and tell me that whatever life i began in my old job as a professional i've throw away and i will have to face the music to being a college dropout... sometimes i look at my bank account and think why do i have so little money... sometimes i look at someone in really nice clothes thinking.. man.. am i ever going to be like that?... sometimes i catch myself daydreaming of what would i be like if i 'made it'.

then... somedays i actually listen to God.

i know my calling. even if it's in different parts and will be actuallised in different times... i know that for one year, i'm supposed to be a volunteer for my church, and provide as much and give as much as i can. the money thing was basically so that the my motives are clear. no money, then i can't work for the money. when you allow yourself to be guided by the Lord like that... it allows so very little room for pride. you know?

so here i am. at a tender age of 24. in the year 2004. chosing as much as posslbe to defy society, and do as God has lead. what makes this year different? well.. i dunno.. i've begun this year stronger than i ever have. every year i've had i've never tried to end it so strongly, and had so much to look forward to in the coming year... tha'ts why this year is so different. i've been so happy with the year before and now i'm so pumped for this year i'm just happy.

hmm.. for me.. being happy at the new year was a rare occurance. you see... i was totally the type of person that reflected alot, almost to the point of living my whole life looking back... psychoanalyzing every bad decision and stupid thing... yet... i dunno... just another place in my life that Jesus has reclaimed in His name... or just part of my continuing maturation process? like hair and a broken voice? maybe.

so... my goals for the year? press on. don't burn out. don't look back. claim and begin new things for my God and Church. grow and stretch myself to limits unknown or previously considered to be immpossible. to go where no man has gone before. to take one small step for man... one giant-SHUTUP!

i'm so cheesy. anyways... please belive me when i say watch this space.. cuz i'm telling you all now that it's gonna be a happening place. so yeah.. gonna be here every other day.... telling all you people that i live and that i DO use this website. God bless.... and SEE y'all later.


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