:i should be in prison:

it's 1am, and i just sinned. Days ago Janice and i made bonoffee pie. i just ate a piece. something that sweet, that yummy.. that wonderful.. it MUST be a sin. anyways, i loved every second... although the sugar high from half a slice may keep me up for hours.. thus the entry.

anyways, here's the reason for my sleep deprived post:

I ask them while taking a break, "What are you in for?"
"Shop lifting"
"Smoking weed"
"Selling Drugs"

these were the reasons that some of my students were in jail. my dance students. okokok.. let me rewind. i basically teach dance to these prison inmates. it's kind of like a government funded move to get the prisoners something to do while they are in there. every week they get a chance to choose something other than doing the 100 ridiculously boring things there are to do in jail... like scrub toilets, cut grass... and that's it... that's basically what they do. either clean the jail, or do gardening work... so sometimes they get life skills people to come in... retraining, new skills, that kind of thing.. then they try and do recreational stuff.. football.. baskball.. or... dance.

dont' get me wrong.. this is a low security correctional facility for youth... so no one over 21, and they are all minor offenders. but still... convicts. i go in at least once a week, and i've been doing so for almost 3 months now. so.. they may be hardass gangsters in the outside.. but inside, they are more who they really are.. most of them just kids. i'm not even kidding, lost kids... wrapped up with the wrong crowd...

i know why i'm there... to make them laugh... to bless. to have them smile... to be the one thing they could look forward to in their day, or week if i push it. to that extent, i think for maybe one or two.. it is... possibly the funnest time they have had in jail.

that said... if i can't run a class inside a jail and make it more fun than sitting in a cell looking at concrete, then i'd be pretty sad then hey?

anyways, so one day i asked them why they were in there.. and actually.. i was pretty shooked. i would have thought killing, triad drug trafficing... umm.. attempted robbery. nope... in fact.. the first 5 guys had pretty much similar stuff to my life at one point or another.. the stuff said at the beginning of this post.

the only thing was... i've done them all. the only difference between them and i.. is that i didnt' get caught.

this was weeks ago.. but it still rings very clear in my ear that i've been just like these guys... a lost kid, making all the wrong decisions... hanging with the wrong crowd... and it really pissed me off... that i was given a second chance, that i was redeemed by Jesus... that MY LIFE has been given back to me... and HUNDRED times better than what it was before... and here i am teaching dance to people whom i feel deserve it more. i know that there are a handful of kinds out of the 16 kids i teach that would take a second chance, be great and never look back... but will they get that chance? who knows... only God.

that's the catch for me... that's why i pray so hard just so that some convict will smile... that's why i'm giving my time up to hang with these guys, hugging them, playing... joking... laughing with them... because i know that i could've been in jail... on any night i was carrying my 20 pills of E... i would've been caught.. my little dime bag of weed would've got me a record... the fights that i've seen or been in... the shoplifting... it all could have been me.

i've been confronted with my past before.. but going to a jail.. seeing some of these guys whom have lost all hope at 17... 17! with no hope.. it makes me sad... anyways.. that's why tuesday is a long day for me.. i go from prison, to the offiec, to bible study... and then.. while winding down... somewhere i remember that i must be one of the most blessed people out there.

peace y'all... and it's been almost 5 months since i've had a post everyday... let's try and keep this trend up.


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