so i've not been blogging the last two days cuz chrissy had a great blog about her dad. it was so cool and thought provoking that i had to digest for the last 2 days. it really made me think about things, and with me moving out tomorrow night, it REALLY made me wonder what goes on in my parrents head. why do i snap at them for no reason, when all they asked was how my day was? why do i scowl at my mother when all she wants me to do is eat my vegetables? why do i go home and go straight to the computer, or veg out on the TV... when all my parrents want to do is just chat with me? these things make me sick, and if i was giving advice to myself, i'd definietly tell myself to stop being such an idiot. but i dont change. i'm moving out... something i've been wanting for a long time. i know i've needed this chance to go out and show my parrents i'm more independent than they think. but at the same time, i know they will really miss me. i promise to allow till next winter. but its good because i will be able to connect with my family better since i will WANT to spend time with them... something i haven't EVER wanted before.. in my whole life... weird.

so here i am, in my office, with no one here. It's been almost 12 hours here.... i'm doing things that were deemed urgent at 4:45. urgent means "i dont care how long it takes, just do it." since i am always envolved in the final stage of production, urgent is my most feared word. 3 hours later, i'm still here. guess what, i have another 3 to go. side note, how come printers always be mean to you when you need them to be nice? well, the printer and i good friends, since i've spent endless nights here just me and Ricoh, as i call him. it's funny, i sometimes seem like a father when i'm here watching the printer. if i leave it alone for long enough, it gets cranky and will jam itself, or just stop, which is it's silent way of crying out to me. I go over there, tend to it, burp out the paper stuck in it, and then it continues. it's really weird. sometimes, we laugh, sometimes we cry, but there's a love hate relationship there that goes beyond words....

i think i'm going insane.

i'm gonna order some dinner for myself. after my rebudgeting for the rest of my life... i've decided that i'm going to almost half of my money to God, my parrents, and rent. i absolutely can not touch another third and change for tax. the rest, about a fifth, i need to live. wow. i'm budjeting? major weird. well... God can change everything, even my crazy spending habits. i wish i learned this during college, i woulda saved my parrents a WHOLE WORLD of money... it's ok.. God redeems that which we loose, if it's for His goodness. so i believe that money will be return to my family.

ok... so there's my thoughts of this day. i just stuffed my face with fried chicken.. chinese style, delivered to my door. so much for my loosing weight. they say that most of the process for getting a good body is eating right. ha!

anyways i'm outtie, i'm being silly...


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