before my food came i felt something weird. i felt.. weird in a sense that even though i was sitting by myself i knew someone was with me, and i'm not talking about Jesus.

i felt him. the devil.. or some evil spirit... around me, near me. if it could be seen, i'm sure it would have been prowling me, circling me. he was waiting. the food came and i bowed my head to pray. it was an empty quick prayer guided by my stomach and the smell of good cheap food...


i opened my eyes and that feeling changed... i couldn't help but think this evil spirit was also laughing at my prayer of giving thanks for the meal... before i ate i closed my eyes and said whatever you are, leave me alone in the name of Jesus. i opened my eyes and i felt more than saw that a claw was imbedded in my right shoulder. it was weird. it wasn't like blood gushing or something tangible. it was just there. a claw, a big claw stuck in my shoulder. i closed my eyes thinking that i was going nuts. i took a bite.... chewed... strange.. i wasn't paniking or anything... i just knew it was there.... hmm...swallow....

a picture... not from God, but just a mental image, of another stuck in my side... and another piercing my heart.. it was like this huge 3 clawed monster grabbed me from the back.. one claw into my shoulder, one in my left side, and through my heart.

it was sin.

i've never pictured this before.. and i've been having some major battles with certain things... but here i was sitting on my own with a claw that was the size of a road cone sticking into and through me. it didn't' hurt, it was just there... there was no blood or pain or anything. in a flash, i prayed that if this is from you God, i want to know what you are trying to say to me. i closed my eyes again and took another bite of my noodles.... i was praying in tongues and then i had to stop eating... what is it Lord?

people... if they have lived a life of a sinner, and have never had Christianity touch them until their conversion... they're eyes are just a little different from a person who's walked with God their whole lives. this is not a point of judgement, this is fact. because of my past... i have brought some things into my relationship with God that has been there... i repented of MANY things when i gave my heart to God... but there's always something you forget.. right? i had so much sin i couldn't have possibly covered it all... right?

and so.. with sin from my old life... it stays in me, embedded in my very soul, yet there's no pain anymore.. for me...because i have accepted it. but it kills the temple of God.. it hurts Him because i have just decided to instead of deal with it.. to live with it. i knew what God was trying to say to me... even now as i type things are becoming more clear that this was not for me, but for someone else... but i took some of what God was saying as something God wanted to share with me.

i was lied to. the enemy told me that even though i repented so many things, i missed some things. and some things you repent when you first become christian.. you don't even know what you're doing.. how you can you really repent with a true heart> you dont even KNOW God. that's a lie. it's a lie. so anyone reading this know that right now, when you repent, and you say the words i repent of ALL my sins, then you have repented ALL YOUR SINS. Jesus took that sin and nailed it to the cross and there it stays. His blood sets you free. "Jesus, i know now why this is... please free me, so that i can eat and share what you have spoken to me. i know now, i believe that this is you and not the devil, and i ask that you send him away me, and let me show others what this means."


i opened my eyes, and saw nothing but my food. i ate the rest of lunch, and came straight back to the office. here i sit... a bit weirded out... but i'm certain now of why i felt the desire to eat lunch alone. thank you God....


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